For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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