I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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