Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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