you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Floor bacon is actually really good
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
