my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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