There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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