Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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