if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
