Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
