you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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