It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I believe in your delicious
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
