ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I think I sprained my soul last night
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize