Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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