So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
