Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
