For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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