Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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