remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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