Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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