were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
and she was petting her beer can
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
