You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
