I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
