Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The feeling are messing with the penis
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