bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
so much tequila, so little girl.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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