Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize