the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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