So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
