ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
