I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
This house was built for laser tag.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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