He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
