drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
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