WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
