It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
