i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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