And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
