last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
