she kept yelling 'call me bella'
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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