and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
