he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I need to stop coming to work sober
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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