you guys were way drunker than both of me
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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