don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
