Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize