I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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