if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
