Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He did a backflip because drugs
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
