i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
