Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
