Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
no, he came in my armpit
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
