A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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