.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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