Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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