It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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