Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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