she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm sobbing to NWA
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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