So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
