..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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