he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
