she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize