Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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