Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
