Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
