Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
True strength comes from lack of pants
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
