So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize