Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
